Deify Yourself

aum

Now’s the time to have some big ideas.  Now’s the time to make some firm decisions.  We saw the Buddha in a bar down south, talking politics and nuclear fission.  We see him and he’s all washed up — moving on into the body of a beetle.  Getting ready for a long, long crawl.  He ain’t nothing.  He ain’t nothing at all. – Shriekback

For a moment there, I forgot who I was.

Chaos theory holds that the pendulum of phenomenal occurrence swings both ways, sometimes in a positive direction, other times towards darker situations and events.  Expecting to achieve a static, balanced fulcrum is ego whistling in the dark.

This is just the condition in which we find ourselves.  I have intellectually embraced this existential fact and admonished others to do the same, the implication being that such acceptance is for one’s own good.  I go with the stream, never resisting the bursts of momentary doubt and fear, and send out an invitation for others to join me in the gentle current.  I invite all to let go of their life preservers and trust the wisdom behind the stream’s ever-shifting peregrinations.

Except I had never let go of mine.  And when the pendulum slammed unexpectedly into the shadows, I grasped at its illusory safety with all of my might.  “Why is this happening to me?” I screamed impotently into the abyss, where my words were seemingly lost until an unseen hand swatted them back with the return thrust of a boomerang.  That metaphorical hand was the reaction of the dark matter in my psychic universe, recently unaccustomed to absorbing egoic self-pity and thus regurgitating the foreign agent back to its point of origin.  “What the hell is this?  Turn it into something I can use before tossing it back into my sanctuary,” is an approximation of the message I received loud and clear from that hazy realm where wisdom resides.

That mysterious realm of wisdom does not belong to me or you.  All messages originating therefrom are directed at the Universal Consciousness, which is also their source.  It’s god’s echo chamber and we are merely its sonic vibrations.

AUM

In raging against the stream, I awoke the sleeping giant of delusion.  Chaos became a personal affront; an injustice in the sand castle kingdom of misguided ideals.  The dignity of being and calling forth the qualities of the resting Godhead seemed suddenly beneath me and incompatible with my ego’s well-deserved temper tantrum.

For a moment there, I forgot who I was.

My reactions were those of a solid, inherent entity; a tiny conscious island in an infinite heartless ocean.  For a few days – just another measure of the eternal moment – “I” was ascendant with all of its attendant phantasms.  A relapse into the addiction of self-importance at the necessary expense of Self-importance.  Like visiting a prison from which I’d recently escaped to gawk at the current group of inmates and daring them to pull me back in, a request they happily obliged.

But the psychic dark matter direct from the mind of Brahman can be a silent and compassionate bail bondsman.  It has the power to direct each and every one of us back to our true boundless home where no one has a name or a face.  It reminds us that We are It and It is Us and All is Us and We are All and no one is any one apart from the only One.

Unity does not compare, so it knows not of injustice.  When Unity dances into multiplicity, the temporary satellites of the Godhead become confused and forget about the invisible tendrils connecting them irrevocably to their fountainhead.  Sooner or later, all energy returns to its source.  But with clear vision, each of us might have a much easier time of it while we await reunification in some non-existent future.  It allays frustration and gives us something to hope for while we try to remember that there’s nothing to hope for because we’ve been nothing other than that Unity all along.

AUM

For a moment there, I forgot who I was.  And it was beautiful.  No one gets an opportunity to reclaim the throne of a deity until becoming vulnerable enough to lose one’s shit as a human.  When we swear and pray in equal measure, we literally create the Cosmos.

46 thoughts on “Deify Yourself

  1. <— is thankful he was sitting down when he read this.

    Such worthy words of selfless self-reflection. Thank you for NOT staying silent. I feel the cosmos would be a sadder place without your voice in it and sharing thoughts with us.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Thanks, Pablo! There will be plenty of this type of stuff, along with more fiction and the occasional over-the-top meltdown about terrible songs, terrible politicians, etc. In other words, not much different than what I did on Two Voices, but with a more personal touch, perhaps.

      Liked by 3 people

  2. Paul, you brought tears to my eyes, and an uncontrollable smile to my face, as I read this post. You just came out of the gate swinging and have touched my heart in a way I can’t even begin to articulate. Thank you for being here, and for sharing your intellect, perspective and heart with all of us. I am just so happy. So happy, my friend.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Well this is fucking brilliant. WTF, Paul, who are you? I feel like I just read the gospel from a modern-day profit who assumes he should have all of this insanity figured out…and he kind of does!!!
    “No one gets an opportunity to reclaim the throne of a deity until becoming vulnerable enough to lose one’s shit as a human.”
    First of all- so accurate, second- impeccably said, third….I think I need a crown or cape or whatever the fuck a deity wears, cause I have most definitely lost my shit.
    You are brilliant. That’s all I got.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Wow, thank you so much. You deserve that crown and cape, but not because you can empathize with losing one’s shit. Everyone can relate to that. But you seem to instinctively understand the interconnection of all and, more importantly, you’re pragmatic about it. While some of us have been sitting around and pontificating online, you’ve directly connected with people and animals the world over. You call yourself a gypsy. I call you a bodhisattva.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. That, my brilliant friend, is most definitely the only time I have been called that and quite possibly the most amazing compliment I have ever received. I have to confess, however, I had to have our ‘Incurable Dreamer’ look it up while I was reading your comment to her. I can’t say that I can take it in completely, but the fact that it came from you certainly makes me want to try. I guess I should try to find my tiara. I seemed to have misplaced it. 😦

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Caroline! Just an fyi, for the foreseeable future, I’m unable to leave comments on your or anyone else’s page. WP claims to be working on the problem that started as soon as I created this new page, but chances are, there will be things you write about which I’d love to comment, but the best I can do is a “like”.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I like this new direction – or should I say rather a different direction. You really are a fantastic writer. Every sentence I read I want to quote somewhere. You most definitely have a gift. A GIFT. Keep on writing. The pendulum keeps on swinging, no matter who the person is, or whether they want to admit that it swings at all. And there are no shortage of people out there who maintain that their life is balanced #bullshit

    Liked by 1 person

      1. ARRGGHH. I HATE CHRISTIANS. Sorry for yelling. I’m so unbelievably upset I literally have no words. Which is rare. I want to publish a blog exposing someone; however, the logical part in my brain is saying “no, no, no!” I want to blast this thing out of the water and I don’t know what to do. You could say I’m having a moment.

        Like

  5. Well what is there to say that hasn’t been said already 😛
    I really enjoyed this, and of course I’m glad to see you’re not actually closing the curtain on the curmudgeon just yet- although if you have the time I’m quite interested in what prompted that post (and this move, for that matter). But back to the post- I quite like thinking of it as a pendulum, and once again the idea of quieting the ego in order to fully appreciate what it is to be alive, to experience, is something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately. Also loved the answer: “turn it into something I can use”. Brilliant.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Again, thank you! Your gracious enthusiasm had much to do with my decision to start anew rather than stop writing online altogether. As for the reasons for the move, I’m gonna keep mum on that simply because my typewritten words might be misconstrued.. Maryellen also has her own page now and I wish her much success in that endeavor.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you!! Yes, I do meditate but these days it’s less of the “sit lotus-style while counting breaths and chanting mantras” variety and more of an attempt to integrate a meditative mindset into daily activities. How about you?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I could tell. This losing yourself and finding yourself, the unity with oneself and the universe.
        I was into reiki and while it lasted, it felt damn good. I had never felt so relaxed and calm and less bitter. But then I stopped for some reason. I keep saying I’m a mom now and don’t have time for it but deep down I know it’s bull. Self-care is sth we have to find time for. Bla bla….all preaching no practicing. The thing is, do I really want to feel good? It’s a long story but I hope you get the point. Actually, I know you do.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I absolutely understand. But even when you know that you do want to feel good, meditation probably shouldn’t be something any of us make ourselves do. If it becomes a chore or something that has to be done at a certain time because it’s scheduled, I find that this just makes the whole thing very self-conscious and self-defeating. Just knowing it is something that is always accessible, as you do, is all that matters and it kind of makes you a meditator whether you actually do it or not.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Agreed. It’s definitely not a chore, tedious but necessary. So I guess I’ll go back to it when I’m ready, at my own terms and doing it right. It’s nice when it becomes a routine though, but an enjoyable one, like a glass of wine after dinner.

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Thanks for one’s marvelous posting! I seriously enjoyed reading it,
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    Like

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