Another Auctioneer


Step right up! Change your shorts, change your life, change your life. Change into a nine-year-old Hindu boy, get rid of your wife!  And it walks your dog, and it doubles on sax. Doubles on sax, you can jump back Jack, see you later alligator.  See you later alligator, and it steals your car. It gets rid of your gambling debts, it quits smoking. It’s a friend, and it’s a companion, and it’s the only product you will ever need! Step right up! – Tom Waits

This is my soap box upon which I hawk snake oil remedies to the gullible.

I attempt to dazzle minds into confusion with the rapid-fire verbosity of an auctioneer. Not quite knowing what they’re bidding upon, the assembled spectators often elevate the price of my self-conscious rants with inordinate praise. When curiosity abates and the price of my wares becomes static, I up the ante with contradictory viewpoints that reignite the interest of those who thought they had me sussed out.

Sometimes, after I’ve dismantled the stage and gone home for the night, I wonder if there’s a purpose to the dispatches that go out from my coordinates other than the cheap nurturing of a fragile ego. If I console myself with the understanding that there are millions of similarly praise-seeking entities vying for virtual attention, the reminder of my own insignificance balances the scales of conceit.

Our reservoirs of expression never run dry because world events create new contexts for nurturing the images we present. A war breaks out or a beloved celebrity dies but the real breaking news is our collective reaction intermingled with subconscious insecurities in the face of existential crisis or crowd-funded grief.

Tomorrow, as sure as the rooster crows, I’ll dust off my soap box once again, and you will do the same. Somewhere hidden far below the surface of our simultaneous bids for attention is the truth of the moment’s Universal effect. A forest of egos unseen through the individual trees of personal insecurity. If you un-focus your eyes as you approach the dense digital wood, you might just catch a glimpse of truth. If you do, bid high for its acquisition, as it is truly the most precious of commodities.

10 thoughts on “Another Auctioneer

      1. I agree…it’s liberating the influences I am receiving. I think that’s why my posts have been so prolific of late. I find there is so much I want to say. I know I need to keep the flood of words in check though.

        Liked by 1 person

    1. You might just be surprised. The reason I’ve never tried to qualitatively compare our writing styles is because some people tend to derive inspiration from philosophical words while others want to hear in another’s words an honest account of emotions and reactions to the situations of life. Those people can find much by which to be influenced in your writing and they’d probably see some of my bullshit as clinical and lacking humanity. Diff’rent strokes. Don’t sell yourself short — people like what you have to say.

      Liked by 2 people

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