Nancy And Her Apples

 

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Nancy was a middle-aged widow, a nice lady with a kind and generous soul, who enjoyed nothing more than baking for her church group every Saturday. Everyone especially raved over Nancy’s apple pie, it was so delectably delicious. Her crust was heavenly, with just the perfect amount of flaky, buttery goodness that melts in your mouth.

What was her secret? Surely, she’d be willing to share it with everyone, figuring that she was such a lovely person and all.

“I’ll take the recipe to my grave,” she’d reply to her inquiring church friends, giving a cheeky wink, then giggling softly to herself within her own private mirth.

One particularly hot day, Nancy was in her tidy and immaculate kitchen getting ready to bake yet another pie when there was a knock on her door, which wasn’t anything unusual since people were dropping by all of the time.

“Be right there,” she called out, rushing to the door with baking flour sticking to her hands and under her fingernails.

But when she answered the door, nobody was there.

“Well goodness,” she said, “I must be going crazy!”

She headed back to the kitchen and much to her surprise, the apples on her counter were suddenly, amazingly alive.

Animated. They had mouths, eyes, ears and a nose.

All of them, the ones that hadn’t been chopped and peeled yet, were all staring at her like she was a murderer.

The biggest apple spoke.

“Nancy, we beg of you, please don’t kill us and put us into your pie.”

Nancy blinked a few times. Perhaps she had hit the bottle of vodka a wee bit too early that day.

The smallest apple started to cry.

“I haven’t even gotten to see the world yet,” it said in a childlike voice that broke Nancy’s heart.

“Of course not! How could I kill you, sweet little apple? You’ll all stay here with me, I’ve always wanted children,” she said, grinning with joy.

“I’ll just switch to baking brownies.”


“The saddest thing I ever heard,” Beatrice said, shaking her head sadly, her gray hair perfectly coiffed because the Lord expected you to always look presentable at church.

Imogen sighed dramatically. “Imagine, going crazy like that. Well, she was always a bit unstable after her husband passed.”

Beatrice nodded her agreement. “I heard that there were so many apples in her house, the men in the white coats could barely make their way to take her away.”

“And the smell, rotting apples everywhere! Such a shame, really. Well, I guess that her apple pie recipe will really die with her, just like she said it would.”

A slight shudder ran down Beatrice’s body, leaving behind a trail of goosebumps.

“Well dear, I don’t know about you, but I’d be perfectly happy if I never ate another bite of apple pie.”

She paused for a moment. How silly of her, fruit doesn’t have any feelings, she thought hastily to herself.

“But I’d love a cold glass of your homemade lemonade.”

Imogen smiled graciously. “I made it fresh this morning.”

She just loved the screams that the lemons made when she squeezed them.

31 thoughts on “Nancy And Her Apples

  1. Kracky what a great story! Couldn’t figure out why desertcurmudgeon would comment on his own writing tho…then I figured it out…it was written by MearBear74! Well, you can consider me a new fan! Too bad about the termites on your own page tho!

    Liked by 2 people

      1. I’m honored to have you posting here, Mer! Just a reminder: though I absolutely love everything you’ve posted on the Halloween/horror theme, remember there are no rules here. Just because I’m planning to spend the month focusing mostly on horror doesn’t mean you need to follow my lead. You can write about anything you wish. But if sticking with horror is your wish, you’ll get no complaints from me!

        Liked by 2 people

  2. This reminds me of an old skit they used to show on Turkey TV (An 80’s Nickelodeon show that nobody but me seems to remember) called “A Day in the Life of a Food.” I think the skits came from some low budget regional variety show called The Uncle Floyd Show. Anyway, as I remember, it was a guy doing a cooking demonstration… only there’d be voiceovers of the food screaming in agony every time he chopped, diced or smashed anything. It was stupidly hilarious, especially to a ten year old…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Wow…A Day In The Life of A Food!! What a blast from my very, very distant past. I vaguely remember Turkey TV, but since I grew up in New Jersey, the public access, vaguely dirty, vaudevillian debacle known as The Uncle Floyd Show was a staple of my youth.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Merby! I just happened across this old episode of Tales From the Darkside that I forgot all about (All I ever really remember about that show was the awesome intro), but totally reminded me of this story of yours! The last half of the episode is the best part…

    Like

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