My Two Cents on #MeToo

I rarely write about anything that is trending in this great world of ours (is that sarcasm?) because I like to stay out of things as a general rule of thumb.

I don’t enjoy being controversial or putting in my two cents on subjects that other people seem to be total experts on. My creative writing teacher in high school told us kids that we should always write what we know. I’ve taken her advice ever since.

Unfortunately, I know a whole fucking bunch about sexual harassment and sexual assault.

You’ve probably heard about that slime ball Harvey Weinstein and his decades long enjoyment of taking sexual advantage of Hollywood actresses. They are coming out of the woodwork, especially Rose McGowan, who claims that Weinstein raped her.

I believe her. Why would she lie about something like that? What can she possibly gain by telling people via Twitter about such an atrocity? (The jab at Twitter has nothing to do with Rose, I just loathe Twitter with the passion of a thousand suns.)

I can relate to her story because I was date raped at the drive-in when I was 19.

I had gone out with the guy only once before, so I questioned myself afterward about it. If I told anyone about what had happened to me, would they wrinkle up their noses and say, “well, what did you expect? Alone in a car with some dude you barely know!”

I was asking for it, wasn’t I? Even the guy who raped me said that the entire time, over and over again.

I only told a couple of my close girlfriends at the time about it. I wanted to tell my mom, but I was afraid of her reaction. I was so ashamed. I thought that she would also be ashamed.

When I did tell her a couple of years later, she said that she was sorry I had experienced something so despicable and that was that. I got a hug. I know that she was uncomfortable, because her generation, for the most part, didn’t discuss such matters.

How did I cope with it? Well, I set myself on the path of completely blocking the emotions behind the rape. To this day, I can talk about it quite indifferently, so numbly that even my therapist is blown away at my detachment.

Sexual harassment has dotted my life, like so many other woman that I know.

If we go way back, I was teased by the boys because I was the first girl in the 3rd grade that needed to wear a bra. They called me Dolly Parton and would pretend that they were jiggling breasts on themselves, while they laughed and pointed at something that I had no control of.

I was asked by a 14-year-old altar boy friend if I wanted to have sex with him. I was 13 and terrified. After that day, I avoided him.

I was harrassed on an almost daily basis by an older, disgusting man who worked at the gas station only 2 houses down from the house that I grew up in. He’d sit inside his little cashier box, watching me while I’d walk over to the pop machine to get a Mountain Dew.

“Hey there, sexy legs! Why don’t you come over and say hi?”

I was 17, maybe 18.

He gave me the creeps. If I needed a pack of smokes or a candy bar, he’d wink at me through the glass, saying inappropriate things the entire time. I’d just roll my eyes and force an annoyed smile, trying to hurry him up so that I could get back to my house.

My ex forced me to do sexual things with him that I did not want to do. That is something that I can’t really talk about.

I’ve had one of my friends husbands sexually proposition me, the last time on my wedding day. I’ve thankfully never had to see him again, on purpose.

On Monday, I saw that Alyssa Milano had started the Twitter hashtag #MeToo. Then I noticed many of my female Facebook friends putting it as their own statuses.

I didn’t even hesitate.

Me too.
If all the women who have been sexually harassed or assaulted wrote “Me too” as a status, we might give people a sense of the magnitude of the problem.

metoo

This problem is lurking in every corner, every bar, every blog post (yep) and on every tree-lined suburban street. I’ve seen young girls walking along innocently, then witnessing a man honking their car horn at them.

I’ve seen it my entire life. I am a walking, talking, pissed the fuck off survivor. I’m tired of it and I will no longer “roll my eyes” or brush it off. Just because I may lightly flirt with men sometimes doesn’t mean that I want to have a sexual relationship with them.

I am not asking for it, nor do I know that I really want it.

I have a handful of guy friends, mostly online, who I feel 100% comfortable with, so this isn’t a “man hater” post. Please don’t bother to come at me in the comments with that happy horseshit, because it ain’t gonna fly.

And ladies…I invite you to type “Me Too” down below in the comments if you’ve ever been the victim of uninvited sexual advances. This blog is a safe place.

You don’t even need to use the hashtag if you don’t want to.

25 thoughts on “My Two Cents on #MeToo

  1. This fucking broke my heart on so many levels. I have stayed out of this, too…which is an unfortunate result of trying to get myself back to emotionally stable after a brutal series of traumatic events…I simply can’t cope with our ‘president’ and world events right now. Copout? Maybe, but the way it is right now.
    All to say, I have never been raped, but I have had countless encounters that were beyond fucked up…4 of them on massage tables…all different men. Honestly, I completely blame myself….has to be my energy or something I did or said or my flirtatious nature, right? ‘I ask for it’. That is so incredibly fucked up when I actually articulate it. There is so much I could say about this, I don’t even know where to begin, so I won’t. I will just say this. You didn’t ‘ask’ for anything, which I know you know on some level but are still probably to convince yourself that you didn’t on some level as well. I’m just truly sorry that you had to go through that. And thank you for being brave enough to share your story. That is the only beautiful thing that can come out of such a horrific experience…your a voice that so many others don’t have…

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Neither one of us were asking for anything. It just happens and there we are, in an extremely uncomfortable and damaging position. I’m sorry that you’ve had to endure what you have.
      Cop-out as long as you need, I do the same thing. I take the world news in small sips now, because life is fucked up enough.
      And thank you for calling me brave. I don’t feel brave, I just had an intense desire to write about it.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank you for standing up and telling your story. I know it was so difficult for you to write it. I am so sorry for everything that happened to you, and to so many others. Women have struggled tooth and nail to get every single thing we have, yet still this harassment exists and is allowed to exist. People ask why the women don’t talk, yet the courts will still put the woman on trial if she claims rape. Our president even proudly harasses women. I hope that with more awareness and more support from men and women, we can truly lessen this treatment and change the environment that allows it to thrive.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Yes, this was difficult to write. I needed to write about it, though. The more I thought about it, the more I came to realize that it’s happened to me so many times…I could have easily added to my list. I didn’t because I think I highlighted the worst examples.
      He’s not our president, he’s a bag of cow excrement that’s been laying out in the sun too long. Well, you know that already.
      Thank you for reading and commenting, Wonder Twin. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Love you, Mer! I have seen so many of those posts and my heart goes out to each and every one of them, and to you, too.

    I hope you express your opinion on everything. Yours is so much more valuable than every “expert” in the field. It’s people that matter, and we are the people.

    Excellent, heartfelt post. Much, much love to you. ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you, Tom. That’s what this world needs more of, people who aren’t afraid to say “I love you.” Love is a powerful word. ❤
      I'm glad that I was able to share my experiences, even though it was an extremely difficult post to write.

      Liked by 1 person

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