Friday Funhouse 12: Vicarious Drinking


Nostrovia, Funhouse fans!

On the last episode of Broad City, Ilana surreptitiously visited a sex therapist. Much to her chagrin, she hadn’t been able to achieve an orgasm in months so she was desperate to get to the bottom of this highly uncharacteristic problem. After some preliminary questions, the therapist was able to pinpoint the exact date when Ilana’s sex drive went into retreat: November 9, 2016.

I think this was a tad more profound than just another Broad City sex gag. For the first three years after I quit drinking, I pissed away countless hours in the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous, giving me a firsthand insight into the machinations of a quasi-cult. One of the A.A. “traditions” given the most lip service (and enforced most obnoxiously) is the taboo of discussing “outside issues” when sharing at a meeting. In retrospect, I was very fortunate to have gotten my early years of sobriety out of the way when I did because if I had still needed the crutch of 12 step recovery post-Election Day, I’d have been forbidden to discuss what would certainly have been the most significant threat to my sobriety imaginable: the elevation of a flabby-jowled, racist, misogynistic authoritarian to the office of President of the United States.

I would be very interested to see statistics on rates of overdose, relapse and inpatient mental health check-ins in the 12 months since that cursed day.

Defying the odds, my alcoholism somehow remains in check, but I still really enjoy witnessing the sloppy drunkenness of others. In fact, I encourage it. If necessary, I’ll even buy the booze. Does that make me an asshole? You needn’t answer that question — of course it does. We all have our shameful hobbies, so don’t judge. And maybe being an active drunk or addict in these trying times isn’t such a bad way to cope.

Here’s a clip to illustrate what I mean. Don’t Joe, Peter and Quagmire seem to be having a much better time getting liquored up than if they were soberly sitting around watching the horror show that is the evening news? Cheers and enjoy:

8 thoughts on “Friday Funhouse 12: Vicarious Drinking

  1. Interesting you put this up for your FFH post. While driving in this morning on my 75min commute I was listening to what has become my drive-time diversion: stand-up comedy bits on satellite radio. I do that now to avoid listening to the latest talk about this continued fiasco. Living in a blood-red state makes it VERY hard to have a rational discussion about moderation and libertarianism. To slightly mis-quote the movie Airplane: Look’s like I picked a bad year to quit sniffing glue.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I remember when my drunkenness was fun. Then it got to sloppy. I was embarrassed of myself, and had no clue what I was doing, or what I may have said to people. Looking back, it still scares me.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, but in my honest opinion, you are doing incredibly well in that department, so you needn’t fear what’s in the past. Perhaps it’s still a motivator for you at this point, so I get that. But sooner or later, it will just become something you laugh at when you reminisce.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Ah, the memories. Of course, I’m talking about the memories of last Saturday … and Sunday … and Monday night … and a little bit on Thursday. 😉

    I am going to have to take you up on that promise someday, Paul. I bet I’m kind of a fun drunk to watch. 😎

    Liked by 1 person

  4. You camouflage pieces of yourself in your writing. (Deleted stuff here.)
    I also can relate to the occasional appeal of enjoying someone’s “correct” filter dropping, to find genuineness in their words; even if they are sloppy. It is a relief in a world of masks.
    Congrats on your success at dealing, in other ways, with the need to unplug from the world at times. Like everyone, I too seek peace at times. : )

    Liked by 1 person

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