My apologies for last week’s unannounced Funhouse closure, Dear Readers. I was working through a personal crisis and as is often the case in such situations, I forgot that I had a sense of humor for a spell. Crisis averted, I have come to the conclusion that the most tragic and self-defeating thing anyone can do is forget that everything is funny.
Last night, I was flipping between MSNBC’s coverage of the White House Freak Show and a PBS documentary about a colony of Japanese snow monkeys. The juxtaposition of these broadcasts got me thinking about the curiously non-linear course of biological evolution. In T***p Land, of course, human liver spot Steve Bannon’s inflammatory statements published in the latest expose on this absurd administration incited a Twitter riot unrivaled by the most violent of territorial disputes amongst chimps or bonobos. The volleys of invective between T***p and his former Neo-Nazi man-crush distinguished themselves from similar offensives launched by our forest dwelling primate cousins only insofar as they didn’t involve actual handfuls of shit. Yet, it is the unfortunate task of American journalists to describe all of this insanity in the language of political science. This is tantamount to writing a Master’s thesis about the linguistic nuance and pithy wisdom contained in “The Cat In The Hat” or “The Art of The Deal”.
The documentary about the snow monkeys was replete with impressive footage of the society, relationships and daily lives of these fascinating animals. They displayed a complex social life as well as ingenious methods of cooperative problem solving and enormous emotional intelligence. I flipped back to MSNBC and as I watched footage of T***p working his flabby jowls as he struggled to read a document on his desk, I realized that natural selection is in no way ubiquitous to a species. Some snow monkeys have obviously evolved far more rapidly than 33% of the human population of the U.S. has.
So we have entered year 2 of our Chimp-in-Chief’s stranglehold on sense and sensibility and things are just getting weirder and weirder. Sure, mass destruction may be imminent, but why worry about events that haven’t happened yet? We are living through the most sensational farce in the history of mankind and if we were smart, we would embrace it for the uproarious comedy that it is. If the world is going up in flames, we might as well go out laughing.
Why do you look so serious? Stop that. It’s a bad look for you. Here’s a classic moment from Dr. Katz: Professional Therapist to help you painlessly extract that stick from your ass: